I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
