You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
