When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
