had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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