I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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