thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
