Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
