The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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