so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
