how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
