also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
