well I can't set my house on fire every night
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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