He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
