my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Someone shit on the floor
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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