We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Randomize
