careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
