you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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