What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
