I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
