Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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