So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
