Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
