I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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