I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
