Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize