alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Houston, we have a blender
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
