Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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