I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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