benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Come see our sink grown plant.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
