Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
