You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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