I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
