You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize