I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize