I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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