Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
