Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
