My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Your dad touched me again.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
