Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
