That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she smelled like a LAN party
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
