im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
