just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
