Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize