i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
