Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
