my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
