it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We're too hungover to prance.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
