found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I will be naked everywhere
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
