I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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