Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
