what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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