Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
