i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
