Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
