Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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