I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
